Parenthood is a constant state of exhaustion.Literally, the only thing as a parent we dream about as we sleep at night, is that we could sleep for an entire week uninterrupted. No meals, no crying, no person rolling over saying, "your turn"... None of it. That is the most exotic vacation I dream about. Not saying I don't yearn for Hawaii (as I've expressed pretty constantly) or an adult only vacation to literally anywhere. Underneath my skin is a monster. A huge, hungry monster... A monster that the coffee keeps at bay, for a while, but eventually comes back with a vengeance. That monster's name is exhaustion, both physical and mental. I'm so tired. I see therapists all day long. I deal with behaviors and special needs and medicines on the daily. Each day I grit my teeth and take (a million) deep breaths to keep my cool. post it notes stick against my bathroom mirror reminding me to shower or at least apply deodorant. So when the few precious hours I have during the day with my kids when they aren't otherwise occupied are spent sitting in the house, trying to contain the madness. And I'll sit, and mope, about how I'm too exhausted to walk two blocks to the park and deal with the meltdown that always follows when we have to leave. I'm far too tired to wrestle two children into shopping carts to do a bit of miscellaneous shopping. Sometimes I'm even too tired to load them into the car for a drive. Note: I am not depressed or suffering from anything. I am always motivated to care for my children and myself. Simply, I am too exhausted to do so many extra-curricular with my children that aren't in our normal routine. If you are suffering from something that renders you unable to care for yourself, your children or it concerns your loved ones, please contact a therapist or doctor please. On Both Fronts wants all our readers to be well cared for and safe with their families and themselves. If you are feeling short of friends or family, feel free to contact our email so that we can assist you in any way that we can. It isn't your fault You're a parent. It is exhausting. Holding life together in a modern society is hard on it's own, without factoring in children. We have a world that seems to burn in front of our eyes and we still have to have motivation to live happy lives. It's hard! It sucks to try! And sometimes, we are just too worn down to do it. Life is about handling the hurdles we are given. Many families today struggle to make ends meet, working insane hours just to put a roof over their heads. Adding in children, God-forbid any special needs or mental illnesses that need individualized care, there isn't enough time in the day to also sleep. So when you're feeling down on yourself on not being able to make it to that party, or wedding, or even the park or PTA meeting, just remember that it truly isn't your fault. Parenting is exhausting work that isn't for the faint of heart. We have to make awful decisions for the better of our children while sacrificing our own well-being. Please, do not beat yourself up on not being able to take your kids to Disneyland (God, that sounds like a nightmare) because you've put them through school with enough food in their bellies and a roof over their head. Let those dishes sit in your sink so you can get in a nap when the kids finally close their eyes. YOU don't have to be a constant source of entertainment to the little rugrats. Believe me, they're just as capable of finding something interesting in the kitchen cabinets or with their own toys. And those quiet times spent at home with all their toys and a movie on, can be the best family time. Period. Keep up the hard work, Parents! You're doing awesome. We believe in you.
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AuthorGabrielle Rae is a special needs, stay at home mommy of two boys. She enjoys reading and writing novels in her spare time. @onbothfrontsArchives
August 2018
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