Parents. It is all too easy to get swept away in the responsibility of caring for your child that you don't take care of yourself. Don't feel that guilt. Well, okay, you're going to feel it no matter what but you need to take a break and get a piece of your sanity back. There isn't anything wrong with giving yourself time, taking a shower, reading a book, binge watching House until you fall asleep. #NoShameGame . Though your kids should always come first. Always. It's okay to put them behind you. It's okay to sometimes look at yourself and go, "Yes. I will lock myself in the pantry and do some manic meditation." Now seriously though, you need time to yourself. Time as a couple. Time to enjoy the life you love so much, just alone. So here are my little daily helpful hints to keep yourself sane to manage your life looking you've got it all together. 1. Nap time is my time. When the kids are napping, I let that time be for me. Whether I want to write in my novel, or watch Netflix, or fall asleep, I do what I want. Laundry does not get done. Dishes are not loaded. Counter tops are not scrubbed, nor are the toilets. Rest time is rest time, period. 2. Respite care is a God-send, I don't care what you say. Truly, I love respite care. It is by far the best thing every invented and I'm OH SO GRATEFUL to it being there for me every week. However, I know there is much resistance to respite care in the special needs community I have found, from many posts about it in groups. Many mothers don't like it. I love it. The respite care providers are amazing people. They fit good in our family and I trust their abilities completely. If something about them just makes me uncomfortable, I'm within the power to say, "No. Find someone else." Guess what? It's no big deal. They love to help find someone better. Now I can rant and rave all over this post about respite but I'll leave it for another time. Just check it out. I swear by it to get some freedom. 3. Kind of goes hand in hand with respite care (unless you have a reliable babysitter or family members) but dates! Dates with your partner, or general dating. You have to schedule it, otherwise things will always interrupt. But by setting aside time for your relationship or yourself, you are going to feel like yourself without your demanding children. Not that loving your children or attending to their demands is BAD, it's just hard to separate yourself from your identity as a mother or caregiver. 4. You have to attend to your daily needs, too. Shower. Eat. Put on deodorant. All of it. 5. Meditation or yoga. Either works for me, but it might depend on your lifestyle. Yoga is a bit demanding in the day if you don't have much free time without needing to be somewhere or be doing something. Meditation is great because it can be done virtually anywhere. I love to do it right in bed, as I'm laying down. I listen to guided meditations on Youtube wearing headphones so that I cannot hear anything outside. The guided meditations are great for beginners who need to train their brains to relax. If you need a sleep aide, this definitely will help! Not everything on this list may help you. There might be some things that you try and develop to doing other things to help you. This is just a starting point. So don't get discouraged if this list doesn't help. There can be tons of other ways to focus on yourself while still valuing your role as a parent. YOU are just as important as your child. YOU are their lifeline; they want you to be just as well as they are. Don't run yourself over in your life so that your kids can have the perfect life when they truly want a happy life, with their happy parents. Taking care of yourself, mentally or physically, should have just as much importance. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. – Douglas Adams
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AuthorGabrielle Rae is a special needs, stay at home mommy of two boys. She enjoys reading and writing novels in her spare time. @onbothfrontsArchives
August 2018
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